Thu, 26 April 2007 Paul Mecurio @ Rascals Comedy Club in Cherry Hill May 3-5 Category: general -- posted at: 4:34 PM Comments[1] |
Mon, 23 April 2007 Starting off with an exclusive interview with my close, personal friend, Mr. Alec Baldwin, its the Jersey Toddshow. Featuring music by: Don't forget your Tylenol PM and your domain names at GoDaddy. Download the show HERE
Do I think that John McCain is qualified to be President? I guess so. I mean whatever he is, he's an improvement over the office's current resident. It is literally too easy to give the, what crazy Joe Clark used to call, the HNIC a shot or two - oh please before you get all Rev.Al on me -I mean it as the "Head Nincompoop" in charge, what were you thinking? Special thanks to Roget;s thesauraus that provides synonyms for nincompoop as cretin, ding-dong, dip, goof, jerk, nerd, turkey and my personal favorite expletive for our president - schmuck - .see I knew I was on to something. Do I think that John McCain is going to win in a general election. No way. Not today. Maybe ten years ago. Definitely, twenty years ago. Today, he's got as much chance as Barry Bonds breaking Hank Aaron's record without the 'roids. Because if we've seen anything during this Presidential version of American Idol, it is that the world has changed underneath John McCain's feet. I certainly am calling this a Presidential marathon, because the next President doesn't get elected for another two years almost. Think about this, my daughter is 6-weeks old this week (yeah I know), but by the time that we elect another President, she'll be almost one-ninth eligble to vote herself! She'll be walking and talking somewhat, and drooling all over the place, kind of like the Head Nincompoop in Charge. Ok, fine, I'll admit it, I really like calling him that. By the way, I do want to tell you about this. As I was typing out this essay, Robyn wouldn't fall asleep. So, I have her literally propped up on my desk now with both of my hands underneath her, with her head resting on my forearm, and every time I get to the end of a line I kind of have to shoosh her back like I was using my grandparent's old Corona typewriter. But, shes cute. But this election really has gotten away from the Senator from the desert. I mean if you asked me who was a front-runner when this thing all started, I would have easily told you that McCain was the Seabiscuit of this race, or is it Man-of-war, oh I don't know I really don't do horsey references. But then things got all out of wack. For example, back in 2002, Senator McCain went bonkers, absolutely bonkers trying to ban betting on the NCAA men's basketball tournament. In fact, he introduced a bill to ban internet sports betting, and to curtail the use of credit cards to bet on games. I don't know who he was trying to appeal to - conservative tea totallers, suburban soccer moms, pissed off Wildcat fans who just lost their house on the team, and swore Martha, swore that they would never ever bet on basketball again. Fast forward to the new kinder, gentler McCain, because this past March you could have won a "McCain '08" fleece had you just filled out your brackets on McCain.com. Seriously, to paraphrase the great American philosopher, Rudy from Fat Albert, this guy is like school on Saturday, no class. Now, I'm not saying that this is Gary Hart or Michael Dukakis in the tank, but it's a symptom. It's a symptom of the greater disease of kind of just saying whatever to be cool. If he were from Massachusetts, you'd have to call him a flip-flopper, or I guess since he's on the West Coast he's a flop-flipper. By the way, it took me 1.5 seconds to find an article about McCain's 2002 position regarding college basketball and another second to find an article about his 2007 tournament. In the lightening fast pace of politics, McCain doesn't realize that the electorate isn't waiting for the morning paper to find out information, and certainly doesn't need to run down to the crotchety-old library to research some minutia. Two-point five seconds is all it takes to lose someone's vote. I'm not even sure that McCain understands the basic dynamic of television. Sure, he sometimes has that Bob Dole on Viagra scowl, but I'm not sure he gets how all of the packaging works. Fast forward to jut the beginning of April. Senator McCain went to Iraq, just for a leisurely stroll around Bagdad. Somehow, I don't think he was there to pick up a rug. What's fascinating about this, is that he gets there and blasts the media for not reporting how safe everything is there, but fails to tell you that he was given a contingent of 100-soldiers and a whole fighter contingent so he could have his morning constitutional with the Iraqi people. Don't even get me started about attacking the media in today's day and age, that's like Donald Trump attacking the makers of fine toupees everywhere. Give me a break, if I had that kind of protection walking around Bagdad, I'd feel comfortable tying a sack of cheeseburgers on my back and walking around fat camp. But the latest one just blows my mind, let me play you the audio That's right, boys and girls, now on the Unlabel from Podshow, you can get the best of the 2008 election right now, featuring such hits as:"And I Tehran, I ran so far away"; "Girls Just Wanna Have Fundamentalism"; "Shiite loves you, yeah yeah yeah" "Daddy took her T-Kurd away"; "I fought Islamic Law, and the Law won and the Law won." This concerned me on two levels. First that this guy actually had the wherewithal to come up with this lousy joke, and second, that this guy is still listening to the Beach Boys. Sorry, kids, I know I'm going to take some heat on this, but the Beach Boys should have been kept out of the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame like a surfin' Pete Rose the day that they allowed Uncle Jesse to play drums in the video for Kokomo. The dude keeps time like a clock during rolling blackouts. But what does John McCain tell me, let me play it "Lighten up and get a life." What exactly has he been lighting up? This isn't like we're making fun of Madge Weinstein in her polka-dotted, summer, knickers, he's making light of bombing Iran. You know, the folks with the nukes. "Lighten up and get a life." This isn't some guy who is just hanging out at the corner of 8th and Walnut, this is a United States Senator and Presidential candidate. "Lighten up and get a life" says to me that if you vote for me, that we'll have four more years of a President that would prefer if you and I just kept our mouth's shut, our wallets open, and our brains turned off. Lets face it, since September 11, 2001, giving a crap about the safety of my friends, relatives and neighbors, well that is indeed my life. I mean this is Iran we're talking about. Come to think about it, Mahmoud Amadininjad is 5'6, and McCain is roughly around 5'7 (give or take the platform pumps), maybe his position is going to be that our cranky little troll is gonna give a smack down to the Persian cranky little troll. So it was a bad joke, a stupid joke, an insensitive joke. His, not mine, I'm a podcaster, I can say what I want. But was it the type of joke that should get him fired, of course not. It was just passing speech, and I guess he just kind of forgot the microphone was on. Oh wait, that was some left over stuff that I had from Mr. Imus. Isn't it amazing that one joke gets a guy fired, and another joke gets you street cred with Ann Coulter. Oh wait, Ann Coulter was probably into the racist joke, too. The point is that McCain isn't getting it at all. I'm not saying that myspace pages or second life town meetings is going to be the answer for the person that gets elected to be our next president. But in dealing with new media, John McCain just comes off like the cowboy that he wants you to believe he is. Just riding the range, come hell or highwater, not caring about anyone's opinion but truth, justice, and the American way. This worked for me in 2000, but its not working now, because we already have a cowboy. The cowboy thing isnt working, and if we're going to get things back on track, we're going to need a President with a whole lot of nerd in them. Category: general -- posted at: 10:47 PM Comments[1] |
Sun, 15 April 2007 Well, you knew I had to get my two cents in this subject. Is two cents offensive? I have no idea any more. We also feature the great music of Also, a little help from 37hz Go over to Go Daddy and get some Tylenol PM Download the show HERE
Kurt Vonnegut passed away this week. I have been a Vonnegut fan for a really long time. Breakfast of Champions, Slaughterhouse Five and Cats Cradle are probably three of my all time favorite books. So, you can't imagine how excited I was when I graduated from Syracuse University they told us that Mr. Vonnegut was going to be our commencement speaker. I couldn't have asked for a graduation present. On that day, Mr. Vonnegut taught us a lot of things, but something that he said will always stick with me for the rest of my life, he said that too often in our busy world, we miss the good things, we miss out on seeing things for what they are, we miss out on sunsets too often, and every once in awhile, we should just stop, take a breath, and say, "hey, isn't this nice?" Mr. Vonnegut passed away this week, and in thinking about his legacy, and one of the main things that I think about is his battle against censorship, of any kind. Slaughterhouse five is an enigma, it is at once one of the most banned books in this country, and yet is one of the books that many teachers consider required reading. I wonder what Mr. Vonnegut would think of Mr. Imus' situation. They both had a lot of similarities. They both are some craggly, old, pains in the butt. But they both love words. Unless you've been living under a rock, you know the whole story, I can't recall a more overanalyzed deal - but for the benefit of our foreign listeners, let me just run through it one time. Don Imus is a legendary radio personality. I used to listen to him on my little AM clock radio getting ready for school in like elementary school. I was a weird first grader, sue me. He always pushed the envelope of what you could get away with on the radio. I remember him going, 'hey baby, let me show you my donkey kong' and "hey baby, let me see your fuzzy peaches." I mean this was before Howard, before Opie and Anthony, and before Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff. Yeah, I said it - he's on their level if not more so. So this past week, he called the Rutgers Basketball team, in an attempt to be funny a bunch of "nappy headed ho's". Now I don't find this all too funny. I mean in the context of what he was saying in the comedic context, it was as funny as making a joke about Corey Lidle's piloting skills. See, it just doesn't work. However, just as I respect the right of Mr. Imus to say whatever he wants, I also respect the right of others to say that this was offensive. Though I question the degree of some of the outrage - Tony Dungy, coach of the Colts, said "this incident has caused more pain to us than any other racially insensitive incident in our industry that I can remember." Now Coach Dungy could be the subject of an entirely different essay, but the hyperbole from Reverends Sharpton and Jackson and even Barack Obama is the equivalent of using a bazooka to swat a fly. This is the most insensitive thing he can remember. Did he forget that this week was also the 60th anniversary of Jackie Robertson entering the major leagues? What kind of insensitivities did Jackie have to deal with? Those who don't follow history are doomed to repeat it. However, this past week, the world exploded under Imus' feet. He was fired from MSNBC, and fired from his job on CBS, and has in some respects been labeled being more of a pariah than the kid wearing the ponchas pilate t-shirt at bible camp. He's apologized to the team, he's apologized to the fans, he's apologized to Coach Vivian Stringer. In an effort to fully disclose all of my bona fides in this discussion, I actually was the attorney that represented the people that sold Coach Stringer her house when she moved to New Jersey to take the job to become women's basketball coach. She and I spent a good two or three hours doing the closing together, and chatting about college basketball. I was in awe. She was an incredibly cool woman, and I could totally see why her players would break down walls for her. Of course, my clients were annoyed that I spent the whole time talking to her, but hey they were moving out of State - it wasn't like they were gonna send me any more work. However, Coach Stringer, on behalf of her players, is really the best spokesman and the only real person with standing to express their feelings. Reverend Al? Come on - the man behind Tawana Brawley? The man who refused to apologize to Stephen Bagonis after being found liable for defaming him? Reverend Jackson? I'm still waiting for my apology about hymie town. I don't really know if nappy headed hos is offensive. I know what its like to be offended. I know that I got cross eyed stares when I went to school in Delaware and one of the sandwich shops had a "Jewish sandwich" To which, I asked whether it was made with real Jews. Maybe I'll never know as a white guy why that phrase is the nuclear bomb that it has been perceived to me. It's not a phrase that I ever use or would use. I just don't think a white guy calling a woman a "ho" in any context is that funny. When I write for Pacific Coast Hellway, it allows me to reach into that dark evil mean context of my soul and spew it all out there. Yeah, I'm not telling you which shows I contributed to, but the point is there is a dark humor side in me that shocks me but you know, I've never really used the word because it doesn't have any comedic value; its not shocking, its not controversial, it has no pizzaz - its just very lame sounding. Its not creative. Calling a female podcaster who's show I don't really care for "Golem", well that's got style. Nappy? I dunno. I mean it's just weak. Making fun of someone's hair? Giving Imus the benefit of the doubt, and considering the context of a comedy radio program, it was just a bad joke. I am shocked, shocked that nobody noticed this: the Rutgers' Women's Basketball Team are nicknamed the Scarlet Knights. Think about this for a second. For all of their feminist wiles, for all of their aversion to being called "ho's", they'd prefer to be manly men in tin cans. Yes, for all of the yelling and screaming about being demeaned as women, they were already being demeaned by the State University of New Jersey, who forced them to play under the moniker of masculinity. They aren't the oxymoronic Lady Knights. But in the context of the game of basketball, it didn't matter. The term "Knight" is just a word, and while "ho" is just a word, too. Its all about the context of where the words are spoke. Hey, my school's Women's basketball team was 9-20 and was called the Orange. Don't ask me to figure out why Central New York supports citrus so much. It must be the weather. Imus has said some offensive things over the years. Some things that are racist, some things that as a jewish guy, have offended me as anti-semetic. However, I also know that he's not an anti-semite or a racist; at least I don't think so. You know what I do when Imus pissed me off? I punished him. I turned him off. I understand that words hurt. It's what I do for a living. I understand. Trust me; I dropped some poor word choices over the years, too. Like the time that I went into Court and said to a defense attorney, "look what your carrier did to my client! Look what this injury did to him. He's a cripple!" Yeah, apparently, calling your own client a "cripple" really pushes the Defcom 5 button. But words heal, as well. The same mouth that uttered nappy headed hos also uttered the words that raised millions of dollars for kids of all different races and shame on MSNBC for not simulcasting his telethon. I guess preventing additional racist comments is more important than helping kids with cancer. It's all about priorities. Should Imus have been fired? Certainly what he said is not illegal, complies with current FCC guidelines, and is protected 1 st Amendement speech. No, Imus was fired for business reasons. His employers were threatened by advertisers who were threatened by special interest groups. Follow the money. I can't say that I would buy a product if it was being shilled by an anti-semetic host, and I can see why an employer would fire a racist host just because its bad business. The problem is that, Don Imus isn't a racist, he isn't an anti-Semite. He's a crotchety old man that forgot that not everything out of his mouth is funny to everyone. I certainly can't believe that GM would sell less cars because they advertise on a radio program. GM sells less cars because they don't make great cars. The other day, New Jersey Governor John Corzine was on the way to arbitrate an apology between Imus and the Rutgers team. Again, do I think we need the Governor of the State of New Jersey to get involved with this pressing issue of State business? Of course not. Why not appoint some Judges and lower property taxes instead? While on the way to the meeting, Governor Corzine's SUV was in an accident and was crushed against a guardrail. He suffered a bad break of his leg where the bone popped out, a fractured collarbone, 6 broken ribs and fractured vertebrae. He's going to need at least three surgeries. The lesson that he taught the Scarlet Knights that day was pretty simple. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but crashing into a guardrail without a seatbelt that's going to leave a mark. In the end, I think people need to be accountable for their words. I think you have to examine the context of things. I think you have to look at a person's intent. I think the only response to bad words is more words and louder words. I think that if someone apologizes, you have to accept it. I think that a lot of people rushed to judgment regarding the Imus situation. I think if the title of a racist doesn't fit, you must acquit. I think that when you hear something that you think offends you, you have to take a deep breath, really think about the source, and maybe before you talk of marches and firing people; take ol' Vonnegut's advice and look at a sunset and say "isn't this nice?" Category: podcasts -- posted at: 8:45 PM Comments[0] |
Fri, 13 April 2007 Fantastic job by the UK Podcast Association. I know this has been around, but I still love it. 
Category: general -- posted at: 7:55 PM Comments[0] |
Tue, 10 April 2007 ...and now for something completely different. On this episode, I interviewed Emmy winning comedian, former attorney, and all around good-guy, Paul Mecurio. Paul took an interesting route to becoming a comedian, beginning his career on Wall Street as a mergers and acquisitions lawyer and moonlighting in the clubs. Now with an Emmy and Peabody award under his belt for his work as a writer and performer on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Paul regularly headlines comedy clubs across the country. He's had his own Comedy Central Presents half-hour special and has made numerous TV appearances including Late Night w/Conan O'Brien, The Late Show on CBS, Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, Shorties Watching Shorties,VH1, CNN, and many others Download the show here
Category: general -- posted at: 6:00 AM Comments[0] |
Mon, 2 April 2007 I can't believe that I used the word "Bucko" in today's rant. What in the name all things Cunningham is wrong with me?!?! Check out the great tunes: With special appearances by Jim Testa, Martin and Medeski, Noush Skaugen, and the Bucket Podcast. Also, check out Pzizz.com Download the Show Here The big joy of this show is that I get the opportunity to really think about things. Having to write a different essay once a week, really forces me to really look at the world around me and think about things. Without this forum, this space, I would probably go on like thousands and thousands of Americans and just allow the news to bombard me every day. Like most Americans, without this forum, I'd allow talking heads or voices in a box to tell me what to think, and I'd some how synthesize these opinions like one of those blizzards at Dairy Queen, and somehow maybe possibly come up with something that I think is my own opinion. However, this past week I saw an article that really hit close to home. In Morristown, New Jersey, which is not too far from where I am, the Mayor recently asked the Immigration and Customs Enforcement of the Federal Government to deputize 10 police officers so that they could charge individuals with immigrations violations which could ultimately lead to certain people being deported. Only 10-other law enforcement agencies participate in the program, which includes the Alabama and Florida State Police, and 8-correctional facilities. Morristown's Police Department would become one of the first in the country to grant limited federal powers on local police officers, and other municipalities are watching and the thought is that as Morristown goes, so will the rest of the country. My thought about this is, aren't we going a bit over the top here? I mean, I recognize that illegal immigration is a problem. It's a problem on a lot of different levels. I've represented people that were here illegally. For the most part, a lot of them would like to be here legally, and some of them don't really care one way or the other. Again, I know that's a problem. But there is one thing that they all know, that what they're doing is not appropriate. However, a lot of them have as many options for career advancement as Elizabeth Berkely after doing "Showgirls", which is to say - absolutely none. Like Showgirls, a lot of what is going on with illegal immigration is sheer fantasy. Just like a young drifter, named Nomi, couldn't arrive in Las Vegas to become a dancer and then after clawing and pushing her way to the top ends up being the top showgirl in the city of dreams, in the same fashion, a young drifter named Pablo can't arrive in New York City and after clawing and pushing his way to the top, is not going to end up being the CEO of Google. Generally, if you are listening to me on Sirius satellite radio or on your computer, you and I are not at risk of losing our jobs to illegal immigrants, unless your fantasy is one day to give it all up and deliver won-ton soup or mow the lawn wearing a asteroids ball cap and a Member's Only jacket. No, your job is pretty much safe. I'm not even in love with terminology. Nobody has a problem with illegal immigrants. I mean nobody is standing there with a clip board asking to look at Visas. No, if immigrant workers just faded into the sunset, nobody would have a problem. They have a problem with the perception that immigrant workers are taking all the jobs. But immigrants do pretty much all of the jobs that nobody wants to do. Even the lowest, night shift floor salesperson at Walmart, looks down upon the guy from Honduras that cleans the can after him. In fact, the national unemployment rate in this country for 2007 is approximately around 5%, which means that for every hundred people 5 people either are completely incompetent, stuck on the government dole, or just not willing to take a job that a guy or girl from another country almost died trying to get. For all of the talk and concern of out-sourcing of jobs, there should be an equal outrage about in-sourcing - the taking of jobs in our own country that American's don't want. You see, the problem really isn't with illegal immigrants. I think for the most part, they are coming here because it's a safe place, and a place where they can make a buck. I mean what is the greatest killer in this country- heart disease? Cancer? AIDS? If my options were to stay in one place and starve, or possibly get cancer from sitting too close to the TV, then I'm out of there quicker than you can say naked pictures of Dick Cheney on Podshow.com. Control-Alt-Delete! Control Alt-Delete. Jeez, just the mental image alone gives me the willies. No, like any problem, this problem is not one sided, and take a look at the words. The word that matters isn't illegal immigrants - its illegality in general. Yes, the immigrant workers who come here illegally know better. But you know who also knows better, the people that hire them, and this really is not talked about enough. For as much as an epidemic people claim illegal immigration is - illegal hiring is equally, if not more worse. In every town where there is a large immigrant population there has become a street corner, or a parking lot, or some general marshalling place where employers just drive up and pick up day workers like they were the local prostitutes. I'm sorry, the prostitutes actually have a more organized and safe employment procedure. But this can be for as little as a mom picking up a maid or baby sitter for a day, or a big business picking up laborers. This is wrong. I'm not saying that these workers are victims. Far from it. They're more like coconspirators in a process where these employers can get around paying taxes for these workers, get around providing them any benefits, and if, heaven forbid any one of them get hurt, can try to absolve themselves of any responsibility. I gotta admit, these people that hire illegal immigrant's really piss me off, because they set the clock of employment law back a hundred years. Hey maybe if we play around with the time machine even more we can get all the way back to slavery. In fact, the New York Times this week had a blurb of an editorial actually encouraging the creation of hiring zones as a way to control the tide of illegal immigration. Fine. That���¢�¯�¿�½�¯�¿�½s great, but lets take it even further. Rather than having these cops get trained in skills that would lead to people's deportation, lets have these cops actually enforce the laws that are on the books, and these are all the laws - not just the ones that we like. Let's have cops sitting at these hiring zones with a clip board, and a money box, so these so called lawful citizens can actually pay for the privilege of skirting various laws. Let's make it a serious criminal offense for an employer to hire illegal immigrants. Not just a ticket, but when an employer knowingly and willfully hires someone with the intention of going around the law, or paying taxes or insurance, then they are hurting all of us, and if that isn't something that shouldn't send a habitual offender to the cross-bar hotel, then I don't know what should. In the end, this is a touchy subject - I know, and there may not be any one answer. But what's going on right now isn't working, and for Morristown or any municipality or for that matter, any government official to not address both sides of the equation is as short sighted as Mr. Magoo in a Vaseline factory. Rather than attacking the immigrant workers, and making special programs to get rid of them, these politicians really should look at the causes of illegal immigration. And I dare, dare, any politician to make a better analogy than comparing illegal immigration to Showgirls. You can't do it, can you, Bucko? Category: general -- posted at: 10:52 PM Comments[0] |
